On facebook everyone is writing about what they were doing on 9-11-01. I can't seem to remember exactly what I was doing and it is very frustrating. I can remember being glued to the TV. I can remember having Colton but I don't remember exactly the day. I watched the coverage on TV this weekend and it is hard for me to watch. I still get sad and when I see some of the stories I start to tear up. But then that frustration from not remembering exactly what I was doing sneaks up. Did it not make that big of an impression on me that I can't remember?
At first I thought I was at school. I remember watching it on TV as the plane hit the second tower. But then I remembered Colton had not been born that long ago and I was probably still on maternity leave. I do remember at some point during that week after that I pulled out my pictures from when I went to New York. I had pictures of the skyline that showed the towers from when I was there on a youth trip. If I had a working scanner I would post them.
I'm sure I held Colton a little tighter that day hoping that all would be safe in his world...hoping that he would not encounter or know such hate.
I do remember not realizing the gravity of the tragedy that set off a chain of events. The towers came down, one at a time and I watched in disbelief. But it was not in my neck of the woods so did I truly grasp what was to come. Is the world a better place now because of the events that surrounded 9-11-01? Not sure. Most of us still live in a world of fear, a fear that I did not know before that day of terrorists. I don't like the fact that know I'm nervous when I'm on an airplane with a Muslim. Flying can be a nightmare because of the events that happened that day. There's a huge list of things that have changed for the worse.
But it does bring me to think about the "why". I have always believed that things happen for a reason. So what was the reason for this tragedy? Was it to draw us closer as a nation? Was it meant for us to appreciate the time that we do have? To respect firefighters, police, emergency medical providers? Did it provide us with that appreciation for kindness when we watch the stories of the heroic acts on that day? Did it teach us to appreciate the small things? Anyone who has sufferend any loss at all - and we all have - would give up so much to go back to the way things were before that event happened.
As the world stops to commemorate the ten year anniversary of the attacks of September 11, 2001, it is a reminder that life is fragile and unpredictable. I hope that you seize the day and live life to the fullest. I hope you appreciate all the world around you, hold those around you a little tighter and try to live life without fear.